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Don't Trash Talk Even If It's True!

July 30, 2018

 

You know how tempting it is when you are mad at your child's other parent and you just want to put them on blast? Whether you are "in love" with them,  "once loved" them or are claiming "no comment" , your child's other parent may not be your favorite person 24/7.

 

Your kid does NOT need you to spell out all the wrongs their other parent has done since 2012 (or the beginning of time, if you are really mad!). You might feel better letting loose and venting to the world, but your child is catching whatever you are tossing around. Trash talk about  their mom or dad hits them right in the face and right in the heart. When they hear someone they love trashing someone else they love, it causes pain, confusion and heartache.  

 

It might feel good to get the yucky feelings you are having off your chest, but your child is not the one to vent to. Find someone, out of your child's earshot, to listen to the list of things you are upset about with their other parent, or grandparent or step parent. My best advice is "Don't trash talk, even if it's true". The arm that slings trash often finds trash coming right back. You don't want your child caught in the crossfire. 

 

What if your child's other parent or step parent or grandparent is trash talking you? You have no control over how other people act or over what they say. But you do have a choice how you respond. Step out of the way.  You decide if their opinion of you is any of your business. Think about what your response is teaching your child.

 

You want a kind, compassionate child who knows his or her value. One way we build that kindness, compassion and value is to show we respect the important people in our child's life. We may not agree with them or even approve of them, but it is not our job to publish their rap sheet for our child. None of us will be the perfect mom or dad. Yes, there will be times when we are hurt, upset or crazy mad at other humans in our children's lives. Our kids just don't need to know all the details. 

 

 

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